Bro-lovers Pillows

"Less bromance, more broductivity."

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'Words can't express how much I Love You - so I'm writing an equation.'

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

The Exhaustive Bro Catch Up

"What I'm trying to say, Mary, is that I want your site linked to my site."

Happy Valentine!

'That's right, the Princess kissed me by mistake: She didn't know the difference between a frog and a toad...'

'I need a Vacation.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"And, of course all our rockets come with a three second warranty."

Fishing poles/Honeymoon gondolas.

'I've got the iron.'

'Dang.'

'My member requires some interest.'

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'Thank you for your unsolicited parenting advice! In return, I'd like to tell you about a method I know for removing those unsightly age spots.'

Petting in the park.

'...so you wouldn't have to spend any money in the pub.'

"You'll come here,but you won't go to Brooklyn?"

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

Pregnant

How oysters get engaged: 'Oh Rodolfo...It's exquisite.'

"It's a niche movie. Then there's a car chase, and – bam – mass market."

Virtual reality mirror.

"The problem is, all I think about is sex, all you think about is amphimixis."

"He may be evil, but his breath is like air conditioning."

'It must be love, when he kisses me, my heart quakes 5.7 on the richter scale.'

'You're right, there is no 'i' in team. But there is 'tea', so I'm nipping off for a break right now ...'

'No point sulking,dear. If you're stopping in, you may as well be useful.'