British Rail Gifts

'We have two classes - first and children.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Carefree luggage.

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

A trevor of trainspotters

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'Have you been waiting long?'

"Well did he?"

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

The Little Engine That Wouldn't

Latest Railway Marvel.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

The next fast train has gone.

Run from the hills!

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

HS2

Sushi Train Set.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Supermarket: Leafs, Rail Leafs

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

"The little engine that shoulda coulda woulda."

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

"Open up for the choo-choo train!"

Trainset