Bride Chill Expert T-Shirts

Snowprov

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

Born to be Mild.

"My feet are cold."

'I think you've managed learning to cope almost too well.'

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

"Business trip, eh? Gee, that's too bad."

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

"Baldo, the summer is almost gone and you still haven't found a job!"

'When someone asks where you work, what do you tell them?'

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

Hasta manana.

"When you have to shovel your driveway, stupid weather... When you've paid someone to shovel your driveway, stupid weather..."

How to tell when Winter is really bad...

"So what do you plan on accomplishing today?"

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

"You've been listening to the mellow sound of Station EZZZ."

'I appreciate the calmness it would bring, I just have trouble letting go..'

'Have you considered having central heating installed?'

'For future reference, just the bottle goes in the chiller.'

"You didn't tip the paper boy."

"Honestly, Doug, you never want to do anything. . . I swear with you, it's always meh, meh, meh!"

"Wasting time is an important part of living."

'Y'know, I'm glad we kept it small.'

Just chilling out...and you?

'Don't worry cousin, remember that I'm an Arctic Fox: I'm used to the cold...'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'