Brewery Opening Gifts

'No, not 25 years - we've just added our 25th artificial ingredient.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'We'll take it!'

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

Bottle Distillery

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'Malty tasking.'

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

Fount of eternal youth/brewery.

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"So much for that vintage!"

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

Brewery Lorry has Saloon Doors.

Ernie is a master brewer! He's highly skilled in every phase of the beer-making process! Business is booming at our craft beer pub! Ernie, are those ladies old enough to buy beer? I didn't ask for I.D. I didn't want to violate the no "dating" the customers policy. Ernie is an absolute genius about beer, but lacks common sense about everything else! (Published originally on Nov. 8, 2015.)

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'