Brew Maestro Gifts

'You've had enough.'

'I've been asked to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Life is complicated. Ordering coffee should be, too."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Toadstools

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Beer Stall

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Bottle Distillery

"Viola player coming through!"

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

'Are you done yet?'

Patissier

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

My dad makes his own beer.

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

Joe's Bar - Two Kegs Any Style $49.95

Pasteur, in an early attempt to prevent wine from turning sour...pours sugar into the casks.

Ernie is a master brewer! He's highly skilled in every phase of the beer-making process! Business is booming at our craft beer pub! Ernie, are those ladies old enough to buy beer? I didn't ask for I.D. I didn't want to violate the no "dating" the customers policy. Ernie is an absolute genius about beer, but lacks common sense about everything else! (Published originally on Nov. 8, 2015.)

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

Tea Snob.

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

Ugggghhh....eye of newt's off!

"I'm fine. It's coffee."