Breeding Program Buff Gifts

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Oh Hi!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

I fart more than that!

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Presenter Auditions.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

"Welcome to 'All About the Media,' where members of the media discuss the role of the media in media coverage of the media."

Body Systems

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'

"They want to see more snow on your hat next time. . . ."

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

'If the following program sounds silly, it's because it's a a paid political announcement....'

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

Too much Inflammation