Breeding Program Buff Gifts

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Oh Hi!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

I fart more than that!

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

Presenter Auditions.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Body Systems

"Welcome to 'All About the Media,' where members of the media discuss the role of the media in media coverage of the media."

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'

'If the following program sounds silly, it's because it's a a paid political announcement....'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

"They want to see more snow on your hat next time. . . ."

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'