Fertility Buff Gifts

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

The Garden

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Gene Therapy

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Pregnancy Test

'We've discovered a new breed of shark tat has evolved is dorsal fin to disguise itself,'

"I've given blood about 20 times. . ."

"I trust I don't get them mixed up. The midwife will be weraing a badge. Mum will be wearing a sigh of relief."

"There's only me, but if you can wait till Thursday week, there's a bloke in the mail truck!"

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

"Finish your anchovies and then you can evolve."

Hunter-Gatherer, Agriculture, Services, Tech. . . Job-Hunter-Gatherer.

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

"These images clearly show we were here long before mankind."

"The sideburns really do nothing for me!"

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Worm humour

Florist

That's him! The one with the mustache? Yes. I'll get him for what he did to you! How dare you sell my mother an addictive substance? Orchid show. Cymbidiums are not a prohibited drug. They should be. Mmm

'What sort of silly planning is this?...I've got fingernails but no teeth to chew them with.'

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

Science and mothers day

'Your genes got you into this, but frankly I don't know if they can get you out of it.'