Fertility Friend Gifts

Sperm Bank, the bank that likes to say yes... yes!... YES!

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

"So, how long have you been trying?"

Three Parent Baby

Pregnancy Test

Fertility Center.

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'When you perform the surgery, please don't remove any of my untapped potential.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

Science and mothers day

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"Whoever she is...she's one hell of an egg donor."

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."