Breed Detective Gifts

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

$1: Family Secrets

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

DNA Analysis.

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Clandestine cows.

"Now how did she know?"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'