Breed Detective T-Shirts

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Barks in code.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

$1: Family Secrets

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

DNA Analysis.

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Clandestine cows.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"Now how did she know?"

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"