Canine Detective Gifts

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"I just don't get it. According to my calculations, they spend on average five days out of seven away from home: Where do they go and what do they do?"

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fido and Fifi

"Now how did she know?"

'Where my balls go?'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"