Doggy Detective Gifts

'Will he know it's not the same stick he threw? The suspense is unbearable!'

'Hey, where's my dog?'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Flashlight? What? Haven't seen it. Nope, nope, nope."

'He did not bite you! Those are just teeth marks.'

Rusty's Secret Stash

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fido and Fifi

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

'Where my balls go?'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'