Doggo Detective Gifts

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Dog Nightmares

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

'Where my balls go?'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fido and Fifi

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

Wanted dog! reward!

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

He Did It!

'Nice try, Billy, but dogma is not a puppy's mother!'

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."