Dog Dream Detectives Gifts

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'So who needs sonar?!'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

'Where my balls go?'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fido and Fifi

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"I think I'm really getting the hang of this lucid dreaming thing."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

'I'm afraid we already have a St. Bernard up here.'

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

He Did It!

Wanted dog! reward!