Breath Mint Crusader Gifts

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

Nervous Student

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

It's a Dog's life

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"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

Relaxation Technique

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Calm in the Face of Chaos

Ocotillo

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

Save the Cacti.

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

"Is something bothering you?"

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

'Don't talk to the plants after you've eaten garlic.'

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

'These are called cigarette butts: Humans throw them everywhere and they end up here!'

"It's a note from my teacher. I would have already read it, but it's in cursive."

An after-grazing mint.

That'll teach you to chase cars!'

"We are getting an education, just not the one we paid for."