Breath Mint Crusader Pillows

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

Nervous Student

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

It's a Dog's life

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"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Relaxation Technique

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

Calm in the Face of Chaos

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

Let the profit-making begin!

Redaction: The pen is mightier than the word

Save the Cacti.

Ocotillo

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

"Is something bothering you?"

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"

'Don't talk to the plants after you've eaten garlic.'

No.1 best-selling book on college campuses - 'How to say 'send money' in 101 languages'.

'These are called cigarette butts: Humans throw them everywhere and they end up here!'

"It's a note from my teacher. I would have already read it, but it's in cursive."

An after-grazing mint.

That'll teach you to chase cars!'