Breakfast Table Philosopher Gifts

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"Well did he?"

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Think about the honey."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"Before we begin, I think you should all know that I once smoked a reefer in 1935."

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

"And he paraphrased New York Judge Gerard Lynch when he said our country has an overinflated system of incarceration that is far too punitive, disproportionate in its impact on the poor, exceedingly costly and largely impotent in reducing crime. Anyway, that's what I learned in school today."

"Sorry no half portions - at least that's the quantum theory."

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

'When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of her nose?'

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

'I don't need that exercise stuff -- I cross the pain threshold just getting out of bed in the morning.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"At lunchtime Dr. Jones just loves taking union talk with his fellow brothers."

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"It's a calling. Someone has to help feed the less fortunate."

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

"I have no idea why Stuart Little’s mother is human — don’t overthink it."