Breakfast Communication Expert Gifts

'A simple 'I like mine hard boiled' would have done!'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

Power breakfast.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Like.

'Have your people facebook my people.'

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'Do you want toast with that?'

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

'Is this the new product?' - 'Yes, a rocket filled with cornflakes.'

Devilled Eggs

"Nice landing, Captain Crunch."

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'I wouldn't worry too much about his communication skills....grunting is perfectly normal at his age!'

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

Man considers blogging.

"We can't even agree on how cold it is."

'Of course I'm listening Dear: In fact, 'I'm all ears'...'

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.