Breakfast Bouncer Gifts

'They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I say it's lunch. If it were the other way around, I'd be dead by now, since I've been sleeping through breakfast for years.'

Pastry Hat

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Inhospitality tent.

'Do you want toast with that?'

After party at the spill club.

You have had enough

"Watch out for Brian...he's a bit of a bruiser."

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Club insecurity.

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"That's an old photo."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"Sorry Sir, no hoodies."

Bouncer at the door of family reunion.

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

"Sorry, but it's one in one out."

"I'd like to bounce some ideas off you, B. J..'

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

'You seem grumpy ... have you heard about the benefits of bran in the morning?'

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."

Bouncer.