Break Time Humorist Pillows

Are you a Questionnaire Addict?

COWMIKAZES

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

'Can't it wait until halftime?'

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

'The newspaper strike hasn't affected you at all, has it?'

Punch has a smoking break.

"How much longer are the anesthesiologists going to be on strike?"

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

"It's my in-tray!"

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

"I see a huge spider on the wall ... whatever you do, do not move!"

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

"Love makes the world go round?! What...for 30 seconds a month?!"

"Oh, come on—it's 8 a.m. somewhere."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."