Breaktime Humorist Pillows

Out to lunch.

COWMIKAZES

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

'I say, it would be ever so nice if you could hand me my rubber ducky'.

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

"The project must be failing! The manager just suggested I take all the credit for it!"

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'Are salary increases automaric, or do I have to work for them?'

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

'The newspaper strike hasn't affected you at all, has it?'

"How much longer are the anesthesiologists going to be on strike?"

Company watercooler with a sign next to it: Is This Trip Necessary?

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

"It's my in-tray!"

"I see a huge spider on the wall ... whatever you do, do not move!"

Punch has a smoking break.

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

'By this time next year you'll be with someone new. You'll tell her about today and laugh. You'll laugh that snorty little piggy laugh of yours. She'll throw you out too.'

"Let's face it, Diana. I'm not good enough for you, and vice versa."

"Love makes the world go round?! What...for 30 seconds a month?!"

'We'll both have the businessman's special.'

Cloud 10.

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."