Leisure Time Humorist Pillows

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. IX

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

COWMIKAZES

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'Vacuums!'

Surreal Ale Pub.

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

Foot Massage

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

Although a rare sight in the old west, the secluded ice rinks brought out a side of the lone passing-by cowboy, that even they themselves barely knew existed.

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

"Dude, don't say it..."

"This was the best school day of the week!"

"Now where did I park my car?"

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'