Leisure Time Humorist Pillows

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. IX

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

COWMIKAZES

Daffodil bulbs

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

"They'd sold out of #1's."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

'Vacuums!'

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

Foot Massage

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

Although a rare sight in the old west, the secluded ice rinks brought out a side of the lone passing-by cowboy, that even they themselves barely knew existed.

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

"Dude, don't say it..."

"Now where did I park my car?"

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

I was bitten by a radioactive bedbug – My superpower is getting a solid eight hours of sleep every night. Wow. So lucky.

"This was the best school day of the week!"

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'