Brawny Buffer Pillows

'I'm going to have to rethink that 'knowledge is power' theory.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

The Buck Never Stops.

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

The Happiest Hen in Acle

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Madoff and devil.

Child lifting alphabet blocks.

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

Doctor surrounded by notes.

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

Scrooge McCow

Lady has a coffee break.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

Bureau of Red Tape

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'All these stupid forms! -- You self-employed guys make me sick!'