Branch Manager Gifts

'If you can control your emotions I will make you a branch manager. Yippee.'

Bird with sign out front of desk, 'Branch Manager'.

Branch Manager Interviews: "Who's next?"

"Who's next?"

As branch manager, Bob would have preferred that Leila had said that the bank was now authorized to offer both Visa and Mastercard.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"My email is down... talk to me."