Bank Managers Gifts

'Nothing to worry about - just a routine check of your I.D. Mrs Chan.'

I think I could explain it better to the girl in your TV commercial.

I'll start believing in phantom withdrawals, when I get one case of a phantom deposit.

"If you had an account here, it would be a different story."

Name? No questions asked!

'I have a six-figure life-style and a five-figure income.'

'If you bankers can count, how come you have six windows and only two tellers?'

"This matter of insufficient funds - are they mine or yours?"

'I'm back! Do you have any free samples today?'

"Oh, not much...just laundering the bank's money."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

British savings accounts

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"This position has become very important to the company."