Bank Manager Gifts

"Yes, I can help you with your loan questions. I'm the loan arranger."

"Your money was working for you, but it suddenly quit and now it's working for me!"

'Beg.'

"A high-five isn't binding, sir. You still have to sign a loan agreement."

"A high five isn't binding Sir. You still have to sign a loan agreement."

'Serving you is our number one job'

'Taking the concept of 'Bank Holiday' a bit literally aren't we. . .?

"As part of the bank's form reduction policy, you wont' have to fill out any additional forms. Your loan application has not been approved."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

'How much were you thinking of borrowing, dear?'

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'I don't think we have to ask how our bank's stress test is going.'

'Here's a check for the loan you applied for. Please don't deposit it until Monday.'

'Would you like the correct time and temperature with your transaction?'

'I'm playing golf with my bank manager and two of his friends.' - 'Impossible. There's no such thing as a bank manager with two friends.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"Look, as I told you at breakfast this morning - NO!"

Help! Given extremely poor financial advice.

Greed is good...but banking is better.

'I need to borrow enough to get myself out of debt.'

"I want three of you serving customers all day - two if we get busy."

'We're not clear who is running your company.'

'If our advertising seems to suggest that we'll give a loan to anyone regardless of risk, it's because we will.'

'The masked man He's the loan arranger,'

"It's people like you, young man, who ruin it for everyone else!"

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

'We're back from bankruptcy, Herbert. Doesn't it make you want to open the window and shout for joy?'

'Why do you think I'm a predatory lender?'

The lender of last resort?

'I borrowed so much money to buy this thing I have to time share it with the bank manager!'

'I'm the bank manager. I understand you want to close your account. If I authorize a bonus interest of 0.001% will you change your mind?'

'Phones don't convey the menace ... I mean ... the personal touch of debt collection.'

I get to make the rules because I'm rich & you're not!