Braces Removal Gifts

'My phone is wireless and my laptop is wireless. Next week the dentist takes my braces off and I'll be wireless.'

"Make a lot of money."

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"1-1"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Shark with Braces.

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

"I'm a stay-at-work dad."

A man trying to decide which tie he should put on.

"It's bedtime, Roger. Loosen your tie."

Operation Father's Day

A complimentary biscuit

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

Nice tie, Al - hand it over."

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

"Ever since I said I liked creative ties, things have gotten out of hand around here."

"Relax, Billy, they're just braces, even I had them when I was your age."

'Herbie dear, why can't you ever forget the office?!'

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

"Don't say a word—my daughter gave me this tie."

'Throw it out? It's worth more! That's $27 worth of wine spilled onto a $12 tie.'