Bracelet Collectors Pillows

'Off balance? Can't stand out in your field? Victim of cow tipping? Just buy our miracle iRemoo bracelet and balance your whole life!!'

'Teenagers!'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

Sundial Time

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

Do you like my bling?

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

'I can't tag him, he keeps his watches there.'

Beer Sergeant.

'Do these pants come with bigger belt loops?'

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

New Watchdog.

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

'Bad news, I'm afraid. He's allergic to gold.'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'