Belt Buckle Collector Pillows

Fat man's expanding waist swallows up his belt.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Servicemen.

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

Drawing on the left side of the barn.

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

A Rifle Competition in the North

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

Utility Chic.

Count Von Moltke.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Baby blanket.

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

Sergeant Stripes