Brace Face Buddy Pillows

"Wanna hear a real funny joke?"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I think we have run out of time..."

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

'He followed me home! Can he hibernate here?'

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

Polar bears throwing snowballs at each other.

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

A stronger drink

"Is that 'good reptilian' or 'bad reptilian'?"

This here's my kitty! I call er Whiskers!

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"Fascinating!"

"Relax, Billy, they're just braces, even I had them when I was your age."

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'

'He's having a bad feather day.'

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

'Sure, Dog Shows can be stressful, but I just love the time and attention Master gives me while preparing for them...'

"Had half of Fox-and-Friends gnawing my ass this morning."

The Icebreaker

"Believe me, no one will notice your new braces."

"It's Friday, Steve - have a donut!"

"Money won't make you happy. Real happiness comes from having me as your best friend."