Boys' Night Out Pillows

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

'I'll bet you could find 'em all blindfolded!'

'You're clean, sober and unhurt? Poor darling! This Friday night with your buddies must have been REALLY boring!'

"Bye dear. Don't worry about me drinking - alcohol won't touch my lips. I'll use a straw!"

"What I like about this place is they let - if you'll pardon the expression - sleeping dogs lie."

Don't worry, I'll use my standard excuse: "Sorry I'm late Darling, but I was beached for two hours"...

"I hope my wife doesn't see this."

I could have danced all night!

Karataoke

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

Bingo night.

"Well, guys... I guess we'll just have to ask Siri where we are." "No! Don't do that!" "Yeah! We know exactly what we're doing!" "Dude! Have you forgotten our credo?" "Society for the refusal to ask for directions."

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

"You're going to regret this in the morning."

Playing cards.

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Botox."

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

The Stages of Wine

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

"I don't mind you spending the weekend at the lake with the boys, but don't push your luck by bringing home fish."

You have had enough

Down on Bourbon Street...

'Botox...'

"Your shout!"

Thursday is the new Friday

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

Gorgeous Groovers.

'The wife loves to go dancing Saturday nights.'

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

Absinthe Fairy.