Bow Tie Collector Gifts

'Does the tie make me look too formal?'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

The Victors

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The one that got away

Cat Tie

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

"1-1"

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

Award Winning Gardener

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

Dad Trophies

Win - win

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'Guess what? I won again.'

Pinata Trophies

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

First Prize!

I think the cat wants to go out.

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'