Bottle Size Buff Gifts

"£18 a bottle. It must be a pretty good wine!"

A Good Batch.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

The Alpha Seltzer

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Of Mice and Men.

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

French horn.

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

National Coffee Day

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Who's the new guy?'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

Teddy Boys' Picnic

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Welcome Home from the Dog.

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"The gods really love tight buns."