Bottlework Buff Gifts

'They're automating the bottling process? Why? Just yesterday, me and my team managed to cork four bottles.'

A Good Batch.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

The Alpha Seltzer

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'We'll take it!'

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

Surreal ale

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

National Coffee Day

'Who's the new guy?'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

'You've had enough.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."