Bottle Size Buff T-Shirts

"£18 a bottle. It must be a pretty good wine!"

A Good Batch.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

The Alpha Seltzer

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Of Mice and Men.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

French horn.

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

National Coffee Day

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Who's the new guy?'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

This year I thought I'd give up something different so I've given up writing Haiku poetry.

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

How can you be so sure this is Farmer Phillip's Farm?

Welcome Home from the Dog.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Teddy Boys' Picnic

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...