Borderline Adventurer Pillows

Now Entering China

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

"How's the salmon?"

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Shoot For The Moon

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

Help! Send fishing tackle!

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

A bit of Newlyn.

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

Pub Kendo.

Been there. Done that. (Man stands between two doors.)

Information...

'Pity you never have learned to sail...'

"Siri, are you out of your mind?!"

Man in woods sees sign, 'No Trespassing', next to 'Go Ahead - Make Our Day!'

"But mom, he followed us home!"

Extreme Sheepherding

'Ed,did you remember to bring the insect repellent?'

"Do require a certain twist, Cousin!"

"Remember what we were told, stand perfectly still."

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

Never Apologize for Being Yourself