Bordeaux Wine Gifts

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Champagne

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

"Okay, let's see ... vintage ... vintage ... "

'It's not quite ready now, but come 2285, you'll be glad you waited.'

Dogs with alcohol collars.

Just out of the oven, Jacque's head is filled with the irresistible aroma of freshly baked brioche.

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

"O+ Harvest of ;92."

Claret

'He's giving us a final request? Ask for a glass of Beaujolais Nouveau - that'll give us till November.'

'The accountants can wait, Tell them I'm tied up in a meeting with representatives from Pomerol Pommard,'

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

Butler and his friend drinking in a cellar

'What wine goes with the Hippocratic Oath- my nephew graduated from medical school.'

"Bubbles, huh? Call it what you want...it's still just gas."

'Wow, this vintage belongs in a better bar.'

'It's a cheeky little wine!'

'Look at this! France is getting into the wine business, too.'

I've started so I'll finish...

The EU rolls back US wine imperialism. Chateau Postmoderne has undertones of angst, fragmentation and self-doubt, mixed with an intriguing gout de desespoir.

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

"This wine has hints of rebellion with a lingering finish of rugged individuality - did you buy this to defy me?"

"It's impressive – I've just never seen a wine cellar consisting only of boxed wine."

'Don't tell me, I know this one. Is it wine?'

'It was a '67 Chateau d'Yquem? I say leave it on.'

'It's a remarkably accessible wine - £2.99 a bottle from Lidl.'

French Wine Tasting

'No, no white wine, just a couple cases of '64 Chateau Beychevelle back there between the beans and the diapers - five bucks each.'