French Wine Enthusiasts Gifts

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Bacchus.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'Man...You age great!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."