Booze Hound Gifts

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

We'll have Manhattans...

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

Shaken not stirred

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Join me in a Caiprinha!

In case of falling markets break glass.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Punch Drunk

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Wine of the Day Club

"Consider yourself chased."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'No need to shout.'

My first mistake.

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

'Good dog!'

Join me in a beer?

Australian Mobile Bar

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'. . .and now, Ladies an' Gennelmen, my next song - Thresh an 'ol Nill by the Shtream (hic!). . .'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.