Booze Bard Gifts

My first mistake.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

We'll have Manhattans...

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

Shaken not stirred

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Join me in a Caiprinha!

In case of falling markets break glass.

Punch Drunk

Wine of the Day Club

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

Australian Mobile Bar

Join me in a beer?

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

'. . .and now, Ladies an' Gennelmen, my next song - Thresh an 'ol Nill by the Shtream (hic!). . .'

'Remind me: are we on our way to the pub or coming home from the pub?'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

Stag night high jinks.

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

Fallen Angel.

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"