Booze Banterer Gifts

'Of course you feel unwell. You have too much blood in your alcohol stream!'

'You've had enough!'

Official Whore Artist/Official Piss Artist

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

We'll have Manhattans...

Shaken not stirred

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"I like you because you have absolutely no agenda."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

In case of falling markets break glass.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Wine Talking

Join me in a Caiprinha!

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

My first mistake.

Australian Mobile Bar

Join me in a beer?

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

"Don't worry about the economy, dear. We'll always live large."

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'Remind me: are we on our way to the pub or coming home from the pub?'

'. . .and now, Ladies an' Gennelmen, my next song - Thresh an 'ol Nill by the Shtream (hic!). . .'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

Stag night high jinks.

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

Inappropriate horse whispering.