Boomer Humor Aficionados Gifts

"I wouldn't have thought baby boomers could still do cannonballs."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

"That? Oh, uh yah...that was Stuart."

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

'You are always living in the past!'

"It's the Florida kid."

'Humans age the same way we do, every year is equal to seven years. I know this because Timmy has had a family birthday party, an extended family birthday party, a friend birthday party...

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

Punks with blue/pink hair meet old people with blue/pink rinses.

Old Men on Rockers.

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

'The stylist got our instructions mixed up.'

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

"The kids have sent us an app that reminds you what you were thinking twenty minutes ago."

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

"I'm eighteen, Clay. I don't have to work out."

'Can't we raise the baby, and then make him pay for our Social Security?'

"I've done it, dear. I've finally paid off my student loan!"

WINDMILLENIAL

Beware the middle class.

A cheap day's hunting. - No. I.

"You're here for piles? Piles of what?"

"Whoa! Now there goes one fine pair of kidneys!"

"Do we really want to spend our golden years judging people who buy the fancy-pants coffee drinks?"

"Son, everyone went to college in the sixties - there was a war going on."

Beware - Baby Boomers Turning 40.

Fidel Castro at 84: Where the hell is the nearest toilet!?

"I prefer the seemingly more upbeat expression - 'These are the best days of your lives.'"