Baby Boomer Humorist Gifts

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

Happy Birthday!

"That? Oh, uh yah...that was Stuart."

"Relax kid, you're going to be for awhile."

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

Sixty

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

Same Sexless Marriage