Baby Boomer Humorist Gifts

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

Sadie, you were around in the sixties

Middle-Age Superheroes

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

We had to use my wife's pouch as a diaper bag.

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

Happy Birthday!

"That? Oh, uh yah...that was Stuart."

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we have to be content with staring at the radio.'

"Relax kid, you're going to be for awhile."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"I hope that isn't crab cake."

Same Sexless Marriage