Book Deal Gifts

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

Book Deal

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Rare Books

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

Suddenly Paul realised that HE had been the odd one out all along.

Unusual Offers

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

Everything for a buck.

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

'It's another office memo from that Mr. Tolstoy.'

"They weren't doing a two for one on moisturisers, low fat yogurt or muesli then!!"

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns

Legal Firm, Suits, 30% Off.

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

1/2 price on Day-Old Coffee.