Book Bandit Humorist Gifts

Crime section.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'Hard to follow...'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'Bront?saurus.'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Book Worm

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

N't. Dear, we're commas. Get down here before you get hurt.

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

Meet The Ghostwriter

Larry's Literary Market.

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

Plagiarism

Bookshop with Best sellers getting pushed into the Remainders basket.

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

Man completely bandaged leaves an eye uncovered so he can read.

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

I read that book on hot cereal. It started out simmering and bubbling with excitement. It rose to a boiling point but then just got mushy. After that it was just grueling!

Eat, Pray, Love Hot Dogs

"We've gotta move on, I can't digest this stuff!"

In writing War and Peace, Tolstoy was going for the big laugh, but the more he wrote, the more elusive it became.

'Margaret Atwood is going green'

"Do you have any immature reading?"

"Have you seen my toothbrush dearest?"