Book Bandit Gifts

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

Crime section in a library.

'The Democrats steal more books, but the Republicans have more overdue fines.'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Plagiarism

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

White Collar Crime.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

"Let it go. I was thinking of taking early retirement anyway."

Crime

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

Crime section.

Man completely bandaged leaves an eye uncovered so he can read.

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

'Yes, yours is a myopic cell.'

'No, Alex! This is our ‘A Penny For Your Thoughts' meeting. Stop throwing in your two cents worth!'

Horse racing is the only sport where a 3 year old can make an adult behave like a baby!

"Quit hogging the covers!"

Help! Sold Short - And Where Did It Get Me?

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

'Yes, he does tend to overcharge a bit.'

"I really like the author's characterizations, and her dialog is witty and well paced. . . the ending threw me off though, I never would have guessed the killer was the stepson.£

Yard sale sign states: Profits Go 4 Gas.

After Office