Bookstore Bandit Gifts

Talking Books: "Stop thief...!"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

White Collar Crime.

Monster Self-Help

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

Pre Pandemic/Post Pandemic

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

"I'm looking for a book on how to raise kids easily, but I can't seem to find it anywhere..."

'Iambic tetrameter? Isn't that one of those conditions that's now an official disease?'

"Let it go. I was thinking of taking early retirement anyway."

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Crime

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

Spirituality.

Man completely bandaged leaves an eye uncovered so he can read.

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Got anything on happy marriages?'

Plagiarism

Crime section.

Psychology in Action - on sale at $10.95.

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

Photocoffier: a fresh cup of joe while you wait on copies.

Horror

Let's take a shelfie!!

Fiction book sales.

Writer's block

"I wish to complain about this 'pop-up' version of the 'Kama Sutra.'"