Briefcase Bandit Gifts

"Let it go. I was thinking of taking early retirement anyway."

White Collar Crime.

After Office

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Waiting for Pants

'Hanson - committee of four.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"Honey! We're home!"

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

"I'm Mr. Trump's attorney and this is my attorney. Once his attorney arrives, we can begin."

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

'You're just in time. But your attaché case is late again.'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

Manager.

How Lawyers Evolved.

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Plagiarism

'This HS2 brief is the kind of work I live for!'

Late again.

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'I'm only doing pro-bono cases until I can find some well-paying anti-bono cases.'

Photocoffier: a fresh cup of joe while you wait on copies.

'That was some grueling meeting. The minutes were kept but the hours were lost.'

"I no longer worry about my new car getting dinged in the parking lot."

Every Monday morning, Mitch pondered whether there is a light at the end of the tunnel, or just a tunnel.

"A pod of attorneys to see you, sir!"