Backpack Bandit Gifts

Backpackers.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"First time pruning?"

Motorherd

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Swimming Prankster

White Collar Crime.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

"Let it go. I was thinking of taking early retirement anyway."

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Plagiarism

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

"Shoot. I'm gonna be late to class again."

One more please.

Police borrows a tricycle to catch a bank robber.

'Yes, yours is a myopic cell.'

"Quit hogging the covers!"

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

Adventure

Help! Sold Short - And Where Did It Get Me?

'I thought Bill had a bad back.'

'I'm looking for some pre-owned pants. Long as they fit, I don't much care whose they were.'

'Could you help out a fellow fisherman down on his luck? I haven't had a bite in three days!'

After Office

"Oh! So this is where you hide all the blankets you steal from me every night!"

Yard sale sign states: Profits Go 4 Gas.

Talking Books: "Stop thief...!"

Crime section in a library.