Breakroom Bandit Gifts

Photocoffier: a fresh cup of joe while you wait on copies.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"First time pruning?"

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

Artists of the wild west.

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

White Collar Crime.

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

Nannies Of The Old West

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

"Let it go. I was thinking of taking early retirement anyway."

4 pm MEET THE COPYCAT AUTHOR

Plagiarism

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

Another Rookie Mistake

Bart is quite at home on the range.

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

'Your breakfast in bed is on the kitchen ceiling, Mum.'

You can take the girl out of Kew...

'Remember, folks, don't try this on your own!'

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

'We've run out of paper cups again.'

'No, Alex! This is our ‘A Penny For Your Thoughts' meeting. Stop throwing in your two cents worth!'

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the breakroom.'

"If I switched to decaf, I'd lose my edge around the water cooler."

"Hey...what's going on? Where's Tia Carmen? Where's breakfast?!"

After Office

Talking Books: "Stop thief...!"